There are times when I think my life would make a good sitcom. Have you noticed that what makes us watch TV sitcoms are the things that go wrong in spite of a character’s best attempt at something? Yeah, I have had a few of those moments recently.
If you read my “drilling down” post you know that I am trying to improve my skills in several areas. So for an update and your amusement, here is how it is going.
Sewing: I thought I was on a roll and got cocky. My recent attempt at making some stuffed monsters has met with some issues. Minky fabric is NOT my friend and the combination of knit fabric and fabric glue with a sewing machine will make you say bad words. Check out these eyeballs. Sad. Just sad.
Painting: I’m not even going to show you my attempts at this yet. There was a time (about 30 years ago to be exact) when I was fairly proficient with acrylic paint. Colors blended together effortlessly. Light landed where it was supposed to go. Currently I have two paintings that are about to be, to put it kindly, wiped off the face of the earth and recreated again.
Knitting: I’m halfway into ONE sock. How am I ever going to work up to a sweater if it takes me a month to do half a sock?!
Horseback riding: The upside to the fact that DH never actually carries his phone is that there is no video of the following event.
We have had some beautiful Fall weather in my part of NC and I was itching to practice my horseback riding skills. Our resident pasture ornaments include Christy (eldest, most experienced with all skill level riders and most ill natured), KC (former endurance competition horse, laid back personality), and Bob (the teenager, untrained, mischievous, escape artist).
Since Bob isn’t trained yet he was exempt from this excursion and continued to make the pasture look good with his pretty boy self. DH decided that since KC was “bomb proof” from all his years as an endurance horse that I would be safest on him. Christy has expressed some “attitude” at times so DH rode her.
The trip started out well enough. Up the dirt road to the main road. No one seemed to be having any problems with the cars going by. Let me stop here and explain that the horses have not been ridden regularly for several years. They were out of practice as much as I am. As we were cutting through the neighbor’s field I noticed that KC was more interested in eating than hauling my butt around. It took some effort on my part to keep him moving.
As we continued on KC seemed to be remembering that he enjoyed getting out and picked up his step…to the point that it took some effort on my part to slow him down. Are you noticing a pattern here? I have only had the most rudimentary of riding lessons. Rein right to go right, left to go left, back to stop. That’s it. On average I ride once every ten years. No one has ever explained leg pressure or body weight shifts have meaning to a horse. My horseback riding skill is STAYING ON THE HORSE. Period.
KC and DH competed for years in endurance races of 50 to 100 miles. DH doesn’t even have to use reins for KC to know what he is supposed to do. And then I come along. As we rode through the field we passed a small pond surrounded by beautiful Fall color adorned trees and approached a small hill. DH stopped and explained that we were going to work on my riding skill a little by going up the hill and that KC would go uphill a LITTLE faster than a walk so be prepared. Right. Got it.
After that, it’s all a blur. I remember shifting in the saddle at the bottom of the hill to brace myself and suddenly KC took off at a full gallop with me hanging on for dear life, screaming as we flew through high grass and trees and headed for the woods. As we reached the top of the hill I was able to level out enough to pull back on the reins and scream a series of WHOA, WHOA WHOOOOOAAAA’s before we went into the woods and I got taken out by a tree branch (ask me how I know about that)! Finally he stopped.
Without going into all the remaining details I will tell you this much. I rode Christy back and she tested me in oncoming traffic. Yes, cars, coming by at a high rate of speed. KC maybe wasn’t trying to abuse me as much as he just hadn’t gotten to stretch his legs in a while and was enjoying some fun. DH had to do some work to keep KC from letting loose with him, though by unknowingly shifting my weight and loosening the reins, I probably told KC to fly up that hill.
We all made it safely home and my one skill of STAYING ON THE HORSE is still intact! It has been decided that I will be in the riding ring on Christy learning the other skills of horseback riding until I am safe to leave the pasture. I think there will be a riding helmet involved also, just in case my one current skill leaves me.
I hope my stories of utter failure help you along in any endeavor you may be attempting. Learning and improving is not for the faint of heart!