Tag: cancer

Just waiting

Hi Everyone!

Thank you for your patience during my extended absences. I hope all is well in your world and for those of you in the path of Dorian, my prayers are with you.  My heart hurts for the people of the Bahamas.

Just like the Three Amigos in the picture above (aka Spark Plug, Cinder & Asher) we are just waiting right now.  They are waiting for breakfast in the photo.  We are waiting on life changes.

Since I really didn’t think you would be all that interested in the fact that I am enjoying the downtime and have been doing boring things like roasting figs, painting a lamp (80’s era brass to dark bronze), knitting and reading…I haven’t subjected you to the details.

Dad is hanging in there. He mainly sleeps most of the day. Mom has gotten more daily help for him so we are relieved that she, hopefully, is not wearing herself out so much. One kid has had tropical storm Dorian turn into a hurricane over his head, but is ok. Now the other kid is waiting to see if they need to evacuate.  I absolutely do not wish for hurricanes, but won’t turn down time with the grandbaby if the hurricane happens to send them this way!

We are in the last few weeks of renting and finalizing loan paperwork.  I’m somewhat superstitious so I don’t talk too much about our next move. I will happily fill you in when the ink is dry and the moving truck has pulled away.

I am also planning something new that is actually a very old life goal. More on that to come as well.

My apologies for being so cryptic, but details are not ironed out.  I mainly just wanted to drop in and let you know I’m still around and should be getting back on a regular schedule soon.  Until about October things will still be a little sporadic.  Stay safe, enjoy the last bits of Summer if you are on the top half of the world and rest in the waiting if that is where you are too.

 

 

 

 

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Winding down summer

Hi Everyone!

I apologize for missing last week.  To be honest, everything was in a holding pattern and there wasn’t a darn thing new to talk about. I just didn’t want to bore either of us to tears.

Luckily, this week we have progress! Last Friday we FINALLY closed on our property up in the hills. We truly didn’t think it was going to happen then either.  The closing was scheduled for 9:00 am. At 8:00 pm on Thursday we were going through the closing disclosure with our realtor and caught several mistakes.  We were sitting in the attorney’s conference room Friday morning and there was STILL a mistake on the paperwork.  We signed our part of the paperwork, came home to feed the animals and had to drive back about noon to get our check after the correction had been made. Yes, we went out for a nice lunch to celebrate.  There haven’t been restaurants in our life since the beginning of June because we were paying rent and mortgage.

Our weekend was so strange. Saturday afternoon D. and I looked at each other and realized that for the first time in about six months we did normal Saturday stuff. You know, take off the trash, mow the yard, do laundry, etc.  No packing or unpacking boxes. No running to the hardware store to get supplies for repairs. No carrying furniture. IT WAS AWESOME! Just normal, mundane Saturday chores.

This week school started.  Yes, I know I’m not the only one to be doing the School Starts Happy Dance. We love the kid, but she’s 13 and comes with THE ATTITUDE now. Trying to keep a 13 year old entertained for weeks on end can be difficult at best.  We don’t believe in entertaining them as much as keeping them busy with life lesson chores.  Those come with quantities of huffing and puffing and procrastination and eye rolling. Fun stuff that.

Today brought one of the best surprises we have had in months. Dad has been in a bad state for weeks. I really haven’t wanted to discuss it or write about it.  He has been sleeping for days on end, barely getting up to eat or go to the bathroom. He has barely been eating or drinking,  We have been watching him fade away in front of our eyes. Every now and then he would sit with us for a few minutes and we would get a glimpse of our real Dad.

This morning I drop by their house to visit after feeding the horses and my bees. I’m in the kitchen when lo and behold, Dad comes rolling into the kitchen on his own, without coercion, with his walker and sits down at the kitchen table with us. I’m just amazed and so is Mom. He says something about sleeping his life away and joins us in conversation. I had planned to leave after a brief visit this morning, but it was so good to see him up and coherent and engaged I just stayed much longer than planned.

Dad has always made faces and rolled his eyes behind Mom’s back when she does something he thinks is silly or gets on his nerves. I got to see the familiar eye rolls and goofy faces this morning as she fussed about trying to help him with his hearing aids. He asked about my bees and what we had been up to recently. Before I left he rolled on into the living room and settled into his chair. When I got home, Mom called and said he sat and watched the news.  Dad has always loved the news…loved to curse at the news actually. It has been the earliest part of this year since he last sat and watched and cussed at the tv.  Dang, it’s the littlest things that can make sunshine in your heart.

I don’t know how long this will last, but I know that my Mom, my sister and I will hang onto every second of it we can get. Summer may be winding down, but this morning I got a big shot of Spring again when I saw a glimpse of my big, strong Dad again peeking out of his now very frail body.

Have a great week and soak in some sunshine.

 

 

 

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Divine timing

Hi Everyone!

Yes, I’m back finally.  There may still be a skip or two, but I am trying to get back with the routines of life.

Today is going to be a quick update because there hasn’t been any time for creative endeavors, just endless hauling of boxes and furniture.

Status update: 7/8’s moved. We have about one carload of stuff that doesn’t fit in a box to bring to the rental and one truck bed of stuff to go to a storage unit and one trailer load of farm/yard equipment to drop off at the family farm for the time being.

There are minor repairs to finish up before closing on July 23rd of our old place and some plants that are coming with us.  The closing has been moved twice and though it caused stress and some worry, it has been a blessing in disguise.  We might have put ourselves in the hospital trying to meet the first closing date of June 28th and we get a final crop of our blueberries before it’s all done!

We are enjoying our rental house.  It has been a perfect fit. Close to my parents and our animals that are in three different places, off the road with some woods and fields behind us and the view of a corn field in front of us.  The photo is our view from the front porch where we enjoy sitting and watching the clouds and storms pass by.

I don’t think I mentioned our future plans in the past posts. One reason was because they were still a bit in limbo.  We now have a contract on a property across the road from my parents house.  The one week sale of our property surprised us and left us no time to get the financing started for either building or buying a new place.  If everything comes together we should be moving again PERMANENTLY by the end of September.  More details to come.

Dad is hanging in there. A few more treatments to go and he will be done.  They have taken a lot out of him.  He has lost weight and is very tired.  Our move happened at the right time.  Never doubt divine timing even when it is exhausting and/or frustrating.  We are back to spend what time he has left with him, to help out Mom because we don’t like to leave Dad alone anymore and to help my sister and brother-in-law keep up with the family property.  Eventually we will tackle that *&$#* kudzu!

Another plus to our move is that we are closer to our kids and grandkids. One hour closer to Charleston, SC and St. John USVI where my kids live, doesn’t seem like much in my case, but it centralizes all their family in one geographical area for ease of travel when they do get home to visit. We got to babysit one of the grands last weekend and get to know more about her 7 year old world.  Until now our time with the grands has been when there was a big family gathering and no real one-on-one time to get to know them. There are plans for a once a month Sunday lunch to see as many as possible as often as possible and keep up with their lives. It’s not easy when you have eight kids and six grandkids all going different directions.

Overall it has been a good move and we are excited to spend time with friends and family we have been too far away from.  We are looking forward to settling into the new place and making a new home to build good memories in.

Have a great week and trust the timing.

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The Gloom and Doom Report

Hi Everyone!

Let me start by saying that I hope life is sunny for you right now. Literally and figuratively it is NOT where I live. If you are looking for an upbeat, perky blog post today then I will warn you now that this is not going to be it. Check back next week to see if things have improved any. 

We are in our 16th week of February with that many weeks of rain. I’m pretty sure that North Carolina has now reached its normal yearly rainfall in the first two months of 2019. We are mildewed, covered in mud and extremely cranky around here. The horses are starting to refuse to leave the barn. One of my dogs has decided he will not need to poop until about June. The chickens are beginning to acquire webbed feet. We briefly saw the sun one day this week and everyone ran outside to soak up a few minutes of vitamin D. I don’t know whether to plant banana trees or seaweed in the garden this year. 

Outside of the weather, life has been equally gloomy. I went Tuesday to say my goodbyes to a dear friend and have been waiting on the call from her family ever since. I think there was a brief moment or two where she realized that I and another friend were there with her. I hope so at least. I desperately wanted her to know that we were there. She lost the ability to speak several weeks ago and struggled to communicate the last time I visited. How frustrating that must be when you need most to say you are in pain or “I love you.” 

After two or three extremely difficult weeks of processing and waiting, I can now mention the fact that my Dad is very sick. He and my Mom have begun to tell people so I can talk about it here. There are more tests ordered, but I’m not sure why. With each test we get more bad news and the fact that cancer has been found in two major areas already doesn’t lend itself to any possibility of much better news.  I only allow myself a few drops at a time to think about the magnitude of change and difficulty that is coming to my family. 

To end the week, I am going today with some other family members to visit another family member that failing fast. I am not yet allowed to discuss it as there are still plans to be decided on, but this is a person who is near and dear and has brought much fun and laughter into our lives and will leave a gaping hole. It’s been a super sucky week. 

I did start another commissioned piece of artwork this week. After we found out about Dad I swore I would not take on another one and add that stress to my life right now, but it’s for a friend and she said there was absolutely no deadline that I have to meet. It’s actually a blessing because when my brain and heart starts thinking too much I can start working on it and the concentration required gives me a little reprieve. I will show you some of it next week. 

I apologize for the gloom and doom, but I just can’t even fake cheerfulness at the moment and I’m not good enough a writer to make up any believable fiction for your enjoyment. Bear with me. Please realize that if my blog posts are not showing up regularly for a while, it’s because we are dealing with the big life stuff. The one bright spot is the impending arrival of my first grandbaby. That little bugger is much needed right now. We NEED a gummy baby smile, burps and poopy diapers and sweet baby smells to replace some of the recent conversations. 

Wishing you a sunshiny, warm and gentle week. 

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