Heartsick

Hi Everyone,

I hope all is well in your world. Did you think I wasn’t coming back? To be honest I wasn’t sure either. I’m going to go ahead with the warning that this post is going to be long.

I have been busy with the garden and getting DN to camps and such, but I really haven’t been so busy that I couldn’t write a post. I’ve been procrastinating. Things have been weighing heavy on my heart for a long time now and I have been avoiding writing anything about it. My posts here have been lots of fluff for many months to circumvent what I really want to say. I have enough years in the rear view mirror to know by now that when something keeps nagging at me and just won’t go away it is the Holy Spirit (you can call it what works for you) telling me to do something. If I keep ignoring the message I will get a smack on the head instead of a gentle nudge (ask me how I know).

Several years ago, when I was still a single mom, I formed a friendship with another single mom about my age. We had lots of interests in common and started getting together about once a month for dinner or go to an event. I enjoyed her company and was looking forward to a long friendship. Then suddenly she started finding reasons not to get together. No real explaination as to why. I’m not stupid, so I quit calling her because obviously she no longer wanted my company. It hurt. I racked my brain trying to figure out what happened. Since we were still “friends” on social media I started to see political leanings on her posts and in one of those EUREKA moments I remembered a comment I made over dinner that she didn’t agree with. This one comment is the only thing to this day that I can figure out ended our friendship. To this day it still hurts that she chose politics over a friendship.

This is what is making me heartsick. People have become so polarized over politics, vaccines, the news, the frickin weather that relationships don’t matter anymore. Yesterday I saw an aquaintance’s post where she got the vaccine. What followed in the comments literally made me sick to my stomach. The ugliness that people were spewing out floored me. What has happened to common courtesy and respect?

Using the vaccine as an example since it seems to be the super divider at the moment, can we not try to understand the other person’s point of view even in the tiniest? Everything has gray areas. Virtually nothing is black & white. Yes, we can understand why someone wants to get the vaccine. Could we also understand that someone may be unable to take the vaccine? Could we understand that maybe someone had a bad reaction to a vaccine in the past and is slightly terrified to take another one? A personal example would be my experience when the MMR vaccine came out. I was in elementary school and they were giving the shot to every student and lined us up in the gym to get it. Thankfully my doctor was there supervising the vaccines, saw me in the line and pulled me out. Come to find out I was very allergic to one or more ingredients in the vaccine. What would have happened if he hadn’t been there? To this day I have not had the MMR vaccine.

This horrible, vile, rudeness is destroying our culture and social fabric, not to mention our close relationships. People, and I am definitely including myself here, can no longer carry on deep, meaningful conversations. If you only associate with people who believe exactly the way you do there is no growth or creativity. What if the square wheel people never entertained the suggestion to round off the corners of those square wheels? So, does it get to the point where we will only associate with people that eat the exact same food we do? What if they wear a red shirt, but we only like blue shirts? Eventually we find ourselves in a tiny box ALONE. Think nothing that crazy will happen? I don’t know. Keep watching and see. We are hurling down a very dangerous road.

Earlier this week I was with a group of people at an event. I know these people, but not well. So far I have enjoyed their company and have had fun with them during the event. We were just sitting and having some small talk (about all we are down to these days) and laughing when someone mentioned the vaccine. Dead silence. Everyone was afraid to make any statement. No one wants to suddenly find themselves being verbally stoned to death and in all likelihood ostracised forever from a group of people they like. Even if you THINK you know their leanings you can’t be SURE. We all just sat there in silence until someone steered us to a SAFE conversation. This is no way to live!

I have realized that I am now down to only my husband to openly discuss anything with. We don’t agree on everything, but we have the trust and respect for each other to be able to handle a disagreement. My fear of losing long time friendships and even some family relationships has now reached the point that I walk on eggshells all the time. More than once I have gotten off the phone and felt tears well up because I felt like I said something wrong. There is a barrier that used to not be there in several of my relationships. There are people I want to reach out to to check on, but I don’t because I know how easy it is to step on a land mine these days. This is not how I want to live my life.

We should all feel free to be who we are and in that freedom allow others the same. We don’t have to agree, but we should give respect, courtesy and grace to each other. This used to be normal. Now it’s the exception. How will we solve the big problems and make a better world if we are constantly at each others throat? Am I the only one who feels this way?

I can’t do anything about how other people act, but I can decide how I will act. I pledge to listen completely to a differing opinion, treat the person with respect, courtesy and compassion. I don’t even have to like them, but maybe if they don’t have someone immediately jump down their throat and tell them what an idiot they are, then maybe they will in turn treat someone else better. I can tell you this without a shadow of a doubt…if you are my friend, I WILL NOT dissolve our friendship over politics, vaccines, what you eat or what color shirt you wear! You get my drift.

I welcome thoughtful, courteous comments. You are free to express your opinions here as long as you do so with grace. Any vile, ugly, divisive comments will not be approved. I don’t have a huge readership here, but I value all of you and if we each go out in our worlds and stay calm and respectful we might start to turn the tide. You know…drop a tiny pebble in body of water and watch the ripples expand.

For Heaven’s sake, stay safe out there!

Christel

Photo by Timothe Blandin on Unsplash

Farm, Family, Friends…and a little paint

Hi Everyone,

Hope you are well and all is good in your world. I’m slightly late, but squeezing this in finally.

This past week was the first week of summer for us. DN was officially on her first week of summer vacation because she keeps those grades high and only has excused absenses, thus no final exams to take. She did, however, have to finish the driving portion of driver’s ed. Warning for our neighbors, she gets her permit in about a month and a half.

My week has been filled mainly with gardening, yard work and exciting things like a new crown on a tooth and new glasses. I did manage to find a couple of hours to get some sketches and painting in. Nothing I’m ready to show yet, but it’s a much needed start. I pulled out the supplies and set up again in the guest bedroom. Normally as soon as I do that I can count on guests showing up. Not that I don’t want to see them, but it is sort of like Murphy’s Law. Attic work has not happened this week because of hot, dry weather. In other words, put plants in the ground and water, water, water.

Last weekend we successfully got hay in the barn. Anyone with livestock (or spoiled horses) knows just what a relief that is. I really can’t say “we”, because this year the brunt of the work fell on DH and my brother-in-law. My sister, DN and I pitched in where we could, but we got off easier than most years due to a couple of events.

DH and I had most of our potion of the hay round baled by one of my distant cousins. Much easier on older backs! My sister’s and BIL’s llamas don’t eat as much hay as our spoiled horses. I went by my cousin’s house this week to pay him and wound up spending an hour or so catching up on life with him and his wife. I have found out that catching up with family and old friends has definitely been one of the best things about being back home. It has been very hard to keep up with everyone when you have lived away for over 30 years and only got home for occasional visits to the immediate family. Now I miss seeing and catching up with friends where I lived previously. Hopefully I can start rectifing that soon. In the past couple of years I have lost family members and very dear friends in too fast a succession. When the opportunity presents itself for a visit now, I tell my little pea brain that is poking me with a To Do list to finish to just shut up. Time is short and very few chores won’t wait.

On that note, in a couple of hours we are going to the funeral for the father of two of my childhood friends. I couldn’t tell you how many hours I spent at their home or they at ours. Our parents were close friends and our moms ran a business together for several years. In my mind I have run through many, many good memories made with this family. Of course we all have so many things to do anymore, but dang, time passes so fast. Try to find some time to call someone you have lost touch with or really miss but have been “too busy” to visit. I’m very guilty of being To Do List driven but am trying hard to mend my ways.

Have a wonderful week and go visit someone special.

Faith, Hope, Love, Grace

Christel

Morning rituals

Hi Everyone!

I hope you have had a good week and your July is going well.  We are in the high, hot days of summer here. Once again more rain than we traditionally have. My rain gauge is based on how many times I have to mow the yard during the summer. In the decades that I have lived in North Carolina, most years you could count on having about a month’s break from lawn mowing.  Last year was every single week except on the weeks that the rain didn’t let up.  This year has also been every week, but so far without the never ending rains of last year.  Mainly just afternoon thunderstorms.  The one we had last night took out a huge Popular tree at my parent’s house as well as their phone and all the outlets at the barn.  The tree is still standing, but we are now faced with having it cut down, because it took a life ending hit.

This week has been challenging. Lots of time on the road trying to finish up the last bits and bobs of stuff from the house we left and the repairs before closing. Lots of time on the road running errands and a certain almost 13 year old to her social events.  There is ongoing stress over the house closing.  It seems that our buyers have unwisely decided to use a huge bank that has a reputation for NOT doing the job correctly, for their lender.  Every time we think we are almost finished some other hiccup happens.  Am I alone in wishing there was a brain switch that could turn off the overthinking section?? I had to deal with this bank when my sister-in-law passed and for an entire year the experience was nothing short of excruciating. I am suffering from PTSD as we try to get this closing done.

Today I desperately needed some nature and ritual back in my life.  Normally I have been dragging a cranky pre-teen with me to feed all the animals each morning and I can’t say that it has been a peaceful experience. So this morning I decided that my mental health was more important than the life responsibility lessons for the kid and let her sleep in while I visited with the critters and took in the soul soothing beauty of a summer morning.  Thought I would share it with you.  Enjoy the beauty without the humidity, spider webs and soggy sneakers.  Have a lovely week and hopefully I will be back next week in a more positive frame of mind.

Full on crazy

Hi Everyone,

Yes, I was missing in action last week. I was going to give you a day to day run down of what last week was like but it’s too exhausting to look back on. 

Primarily we got our home and property officially up for sale and in one week have had eight showings. Some days we have had up to three in one day. We know that this has been the initial rush and that it should be slowing down soon, but our normal life has been put on hold. We wanted to get the place listed this Spring because we know it is going to probably be more of a marathon than a sprint. Our place is not everyone’s cup of tea. We are very secluded in a very rural area where the nearest grocery store is almost a half hour drive away. The plus side is that there are very few properties available out here. 

We still have ongoing projects to do, like the new ceiling fan we installed yesterday and the new heat pump that is going in tomorrow. Throw in a lawn mower that has been in the repair shop for a month and a sick dog and a Dad who is sick…

Obviously no artwork has been done. I did finish the sweater I started knitting in December, but it immediately got stuffed in a drawer and probably won’t see daylight until Fall. 


The flowers are blooming and the weather has been wonderful! We have turnip greens and kale coming in faster than I can pick it and the honeybees are having a great honey flow so far. The kids are doing good. One got accepted into NC State Veteraninary School and we are super excited for her! Life is doing what life does with all its challenges and glory. 

I hope to stay the course with my weekly posts, but life happens so bear with me if I don’t. “Thank you” to my friends who celebrate, commiserate and advise us through all this. You know who you are and I love you bunches.

Have an awesome week!!!

Light through the fog

Hi Everyone,

Welcome to the weekend! I hope your week has been great. Next week I am going to skip posting here. Almost every day has an appointment for someone that requires me as driver and we are going to Charleston to spend Easter with my daughter and her family. Yes, more grandbaby snuggling. So Happy Easter to those of you who celebrate and I’m wishing all of you a great week!

I started this drawing the beginning of last week and I have been stuck studying it since last Thursday I believe.  In case you can’t tell, it’s a drawing of sunlight beginning to burn through the fog in a forest. It’s a pretty good visualization of how my week has been and maybe my mind frame is what has me stuck on how to finish it. 


Last Thursday night I picked up my son at the airport where he flew in from the Virgin Islands. On Sunday my daughter, son-in-law and grandson drove up from Charleston and we all got together for a visit and for my son, sister, brother-in-law and my parents to meet the newest family member. Those hours were the sun shining through the fog. Laughter, hugs, baby snuggles, good food and time together. 


Monday the fog began to roll back in as we went to a meeting with my Dad’s oncologist to discuss his upcoming treatment. It was a difficult meeting and I was emotionally fried by the time I got home. Tuesday my daughter and her family headed back south and I drove my son back down to catch his flight. It takes me at least two days to work through the sadness of their leaving each and every time. Add to this the fact that my nine year old, goofy mutt suddenly began losing use of one of his back legs and a trip to the vet revealed a spinal issue that doesn’t sound reversable and probably progressive. Right now there is way more fog than sunlight. 

I really don’t want to be Debbie Downer right now, but life kinda sucks at the moment and I’m struggling to stay positive so my apologies for the gloom. Prayers and good thoughts would definitely be appreciated. Dad starts treatment on the 25th, every day for five and a half weeks, both chemo and radiation. It’s going to take lots of time and energy for all of us to get through this so I’m not sure if I will be posting regularly for a while. I will do the best I can. Those of you who regularly show up here, thanks for reading and sending comments and encouragement. 

Hoping that life is being good to you, but if not, I will have you in my thoughts and prayers as well! Peace be with you and I will be back as soon as I possibly can. 

Tackle box therapy 

Hi Everyone,

How have you been? We have had one of those weeks where almost every day has been packed full. Monday and Tuesday seemed to have been winter’s last rally, complete with snow on Tuesday. Thankfully it looks like we have entered true Spring now. 

I’m going to keep this short today. Last night I picked my son up at the airport and he will be in for a few days visit as well as my daughter, son-in-law and that soon to be spoiled grandbaby. We keep getting more and more depressing news about my Dad’s health so the visits will be a bright spot this week. Needless to say, I’m going to spend every possible minute with family for the next few days. Tomorrow Miss L. has a color run and immediately after that my bonus daughter has a horse show. Sunday we all converge at my parents’ for food, fun and baby spoilage.

This week has been a continuation of the never ending cleaning, decluttering and packing up. We are reaching crunch time now that prime house selling season is upon us. The other day during my storage unit cleaning, I unearthed an old “friend”.  This fishing tackle box started holding my art supplies way back in high school. It was then a constant companion in college as I hauled drawing pencils and charcoal back and forth from art classes to dorm room. At some point I moved on to art supplies that no longer fit in this simple box. Airbrushes, tubes of paint, cameras, COMPUTERS were all too big. 


It’s funny how at this time of major downsizing in my life, my tackle box reappeared just when I needed it. In a couple of weeks I am going to have to find a place to hide my art supplies at a calls notice. My paints and canvas have been packed up and are soon heading to the same storage unit my tackle box lived in. I will be down to just pencils, pastels and paper that can easily be tucked away. It’s crazy to get excited over finding this simple, super efficient, portable box, but it solved a major problem of how to wrangle my supplies in a stressful situation. Divine intervention. Therapy in a tackle box…that does not include cleaning fish! 

Here is this week’s work in progress. I’m trying to draw fog. It’s a challenge. 


I’m off to make coffee for the “boy”. Have an awesome week! 

The Gloom and Doom Report

Hi Everyone!

Let me start by saying that I hope life is sunny for you right now. Literally and figuratively it is NOT where I live. If you are looking for an upbeat, perky blog post today then I will warn you now that this is not going to be it. Check back next week to see if things have improved any. 

We are in our 16th week of February with that many weeks of rain. I’m pretty sure that North Carolina has now reached its normal yearly rainfall in the first two months of 2019. We are mildewed, covered in mud and extremely cranky around here. The horses are starting to refuse to leave the barn. One of my dogs has decided he will not need to poop until about June. The chickens are beginning to acquire webbed feet. We briefly saw the sun one day this week and everyone ran outside to soak up a few minutes of vitamin D. I don’t know whether to plant banana trees or seaweed in the garden this year. 

Outside of the weather, life has been equally gloomy. I went Tuesday to say my goodbyes to a dear friend and have been waiting on the call from her family ever since. I think there was a brief moment or two where she realized that I and another friend were there with her. I hope so at least. I desperately wanted her to know that we were there. She lost the ability to speak several weeks ago and struggled to communicate the last time I visited. How frustrating that must be when you need most to say you are in pain or “I love you.” 

After two or three extremely difficult weeks of processing and waiting, I can now mention the fact that my Dad is very sick. He and my Mom have begun to tell people so I can talk about it here. There are more tests ordered, but I’m not sure why. With each test we get more bad news and the fact that cancer has been found in two major areas already doesn’t lend itself to any possibility of much better news.  I only allow myself a few drops at a time to think about the magnitude of change and difficulty that is coming to my family. 

To end the week, I am going today with some other family members to visit another family member that failing fast. I am not yet allowed to discuss it as there are still plans to be decided on, but this is a person who is near and dear and has brought much fun and laughter into our lives and will leave a gaping hole. It’s been a super sucky week. 

I did start another commissioned piece of artwork this week. After we found out about Dad I swore I would not take on another one and add that stress to my life right now, but it’s for a friend and she said there was absolutely no deadline that I have to meet. It’s actually a blessing because when my brain and heart starts thinking too much I can start working on it and the concentration required gives me a little reprieve. I will show you some of it next week. 

I apologize for the gloom and doom, but I just can’t even fake cheerfulness at the moment and I’m not good enough a writer to make up any believable fiction for your enjoyment. Bear with me. Please realize that if my blog posts are not showing up regularly for a while, it’s because we are dealing with the big life stuff. The one bright spot is the impending arrival of my first grandbaby. That little bugger is much needed right now. We NEED a gummy baby smile, burps and poopy diapers and sweet baby smells to replace some of the recent conversations. 

Wishing you a sunshiny, warm and gentle week. 

Konmari and a big shovel 

Hi Everyone,

I hope you are off to a great start this week. Once again I apologize for going MIA last week. It turned out much more hectic and stressful than planned. Every day except one was spent running to appointments. Some days had several. I also visited a dear friend who is in the hospital and she is in pretty bad shape right now. That alone took a toll on me. It’s so hard to see someone you love suffering and not be able to do anything to help. 

So this week I’m trying to catch up on the pile of stuff that should have been done last week. I somehow got a good start on the commissioned drawing. Well, actually that happened in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t a good sleep week either so I have decided that on those nights I’m going to quit laying there trying to solve the world’s problems and quietly do something productive. Luckily drawing is a pretty quiet activity! Here is a sneak peek. 


If you have been reading this crazy blog, you know that I am in a major clean out phase. Unless you have had your head in the sand or like us, don’t watch TV, you have heard about Marie Kondo’s show on Netflix. I know about her because I read her first book several years ago, am reading her second book currently, and it seems like everything I read or watch on YouTube is talking about her right now. Don’t quote me, but I think I saw last week where donations to charities is up by something insane like 336% thank to Ms. Kondo. Last week I helped contribute to that by hauling a stuffed carload of clothes, household items, baby clothes (My babies are 23 and almost 26 years old. It’s past time, don’t ‘cha think! ), books, etc. to a local charity shop.  The hubby has gotten on board and started cleaning out the old tobacco barn which had become the storage unit for broken and unneeded stuff. He took a trailer load of old equipment and I’m afraid to guess what else to the landfill. The two barns are his domain. I have a hands off policy on those. 

I have been doing the 30 day minimalism challenge this month (google it for details, I’m on a time crunch today) so here are my numbers for last week. Decluttered and donated 74 items and trashed 60 items for a total of 133 items. That’s 73 items short of what I needed to do but I still have time this week to meet my 498 items for the month goal. Total items for the month so far is 376!  

If you are a new reader here is the backstory: 1) D. and I got married in 2016 combining 30+ years each of “stuff” that will not fit into his 1300 square foot home thus adding a storage unit to our monthly bills  2) In 2017 his younger sister passed away and her young daughter came to live with us and our already stuffed house became even more crowded. His sister was also the keeper of four generations worth of family stuff and after other family members got what they wanted we were still left with TWO more storage units of stuff to sort through while PAYING FOR. 3) Now we have decided to sell our farm, move back to our hometown and build a slightly larger house. 4) We are NOT GOING TO MOVE ALL THIS STUFF! 

I am doing the challenge to jump start the process as quickly as possible. We will be putting the farm on the market soon and if you have sold a house you know that whole staging and storage thing is a big deal. I am a deadline person also and need the deadline to keep me on track. I appreciate the Konmari method of asking if something “sparks joy”, but frankly I just don’t have the time to be pondering the whole joy thing. I need a timer and a big shovel to get this done! Three weeks in and I still don’t yet see a difference in the house or the storage unit I am currently working on, sooooooo February will be another 30 day challenge. In all likelihood it will continue until the unit is cleared or I have reached burnout and need a new method. 

Are you Konmari-ing your house? Are you watching the show? I would love to have some compadres in this quest for breathing room. Let me know your thoughts and progress. Its lonely out here. Have an awesome week!

The “perfect” Christmas 

Hi Everyone! Hope you are warm and safe and dry. If I have any readers in Alaska, I hope you are safe and suffered minimal damage up there.  This was another week where on Monday I thought to myself, ” I will finish my blog post tomorrow”, which somehow turned into Saturday!  

I have finished the Christmas decorating and been subjected to hours of non-stop Christmas music by Miss L.  As always happens right before or just after Thanksgiving, I began to feel my inner Grinch seep out. This time I decided to stop and get to the bottom of this yearly phenomenon and to POSSIBLY exorcise it once and for all. If you are lucky you won’t have to read about it here next year and maybe I can redeem myself to my kids and future grandkids. Put your seat belts on because I’m down to about 10% of my original filter and have reached the Age of Honesty. This may turn into a series before the season is over.

First, I think somewhere in my lineage there is either Scandinavian or Shaker ancestry. Our modern Christmas is overwhelming to me. Too much stuff, too many lights, people, food, traffic, etc.  I’m pretty sure I can trace that back as far as my teenage years and at heart I am a minimalist that can’t seem to shake (but by George I’m trying) literal and figurative baggage. My idea of decorations for Christmas is a green tree with white lights and white ornaments, white candles on the mantle and some greenery. Boom. Done. Simple. Elegant.  When we get the new house finished  I will probably add a Moravian star on the porch. I have been told more than once that I don’t get the Spirit of Christmas. If it involves the above excess, then I don’t want it. The only Spirit of Christmas I have any desire for is the company of friends and family and the candlelight midnight service at church. 


Second, the expectations of what Christmas “should” be have been blown so out of proportion that there is no wonder people are depressed during the holidays. My parents tell of getting AN ORANGE as their treat for Christmas. My guess is that they savored every bite of that orange. What do we really savor during the frenzy of shopping, cooking, parties, ripping open piles of gifts? How the heck are we supposed to Martha Stewart our way through the holidays with a spotless house, hundreds of cards mailed, perfect hair, gourmet home cooked goodies and angelic (though sugared up) children? It’s a myth people. Concocted by marketers who each year are expected to out tear jerk last year’s Christmas advertising. I spent my whole career in advertising, marketing and retail. That is where Grinches are born! 

Gifts. In my perfect Christmas there would be no gift giving. The financial burden and stress that this causes so many people every year is the antithesis of what Christmas should be about. Gifts should be given spontaneously during the year and only to show thoughtfulness and true affection or appreciation. I can tell you that in my years as a young parent and later as a single parent, the cost of trying to gift everyone at one time AND make them HAPPY was nothing short of a horrendous burden. I worked two jobs for years just to pay the bills and tried to squirrel away money all year long just to try to have enough to buy gifts for my kids that would come close to what their friends would get so they would not feel different THEN prayed my car didn’t break down or an appliance quit on me and I would have to spend the Christmas money. 

Pay attention to the people in your circle. Is there someone who gets sick or has a conflict with that party every year where a $25 gift AND food is expected to be brought? Do they “conveniently” miss the meeting where everyone is expected to pitch in for the bosses’ gift? Do they “forget” that they needed to bring items for underprivileged children? Guess what. They are struggling to keep THEIR kids’ names off that Christmas tree! People, give up the gift and money expectations. Do what you can and leave everyone else to do what they can…AND DONT GOSSIP ABOUT THEM. They are losing precious sleep wondering how they are going to DO Christmas AND pay the freakin’ power bill. If you can’t understand why someone isn’t out fighting Black Friday crowds or throwing lots of Christmas Spirit money in every charity  pot that gets passed around, then appreciate how blessed you are not to be counting every quarter and give some grace to those who have to. When I say “grace” I don’t mean a handout. I mean understanding. Understanding that people deal with many different challenges during the Christmas season. Depression and grief don’t leave much room for joyous shopping or giving. Caregiving can suck the lifeblood out of others. Single parents deal with financial burdens, social stigmas and loneliness during the holidays. The Christmas Spirit should be giving understanding, support and non-judgement instead of expecting Starbucks cards, extravagant gifts and constant holiday enthusiasm. 

I practice the Christian faith, the teachings of Jesus Christ, who didn’t do much of anything that was a societal norm. He was born in a dirty barn. The only ones who brought him gifts were three wealthy men. The shepherds and the Angels simply worshipped a miraculous birth and savored the moment. That was the perfect Christmas. 

Wishing you a week of miracles. 

Percolating 

Hi Everyone! 

It has been a few weeks, but I finally made it back. Brace yourselves, this is probably going to be a long one. I hope all is well in your world! For my own well being I limit the amount of news that I let into my life, but I know that the turmoil and tragedies seem to be running rampant right now. More and more of my prayers are for healing and peace for our world and  earth as well as individuals. 

So on to fun stuff. Even though our crowd was smaller and the weather a bit damper than last year, we still had an enjoyable family gathering at our annual chicken stew.  Our menagerie of animals is always a draw and the highlight of the day (other than good food) is horseback rides for the kids and any willing adults.  We alway enjoy watching the kids who have never been on a horse before. Often they start out with a level of fear that quickly turns to sheer delight. We had that experience with three of the young cousins this time. So. Much. Fun.  


Spark Plug the donkey surprised me immensely. Normally he is a bit standoffish with new people, but he was absolutely Mr. Friendly with the kids. 


The following weekend we headed South to attend my daughter and son-in-law’s gender reveal party. Normally we stay with them when we visit, but with boatloads of family in town we rented the cutest little Airbnb Tiny House. I have been in love with the tiny house movement since it started and have often tried to imagine if I could live in one. I think they are one of the most creative ways people have come up with to avoid outrageous mortgage debt as well as have a very portable living space. These are pictures of where we stayed. The wooded lot made it feel like we were secluded from all the city around us. The huge window…I NEED one!


To answer the question of whether I could live in a tiny house, well, that is a yes and a no. Could I live in a 256 square foot space with a husband and a 12 year old?  Only in a survival situation!  The husband has long legs that get in the way and the 12 year old has too much energy as well as the family trait of loving to climb in high places. Could I live in a tiny house alone or with a dog? Absolutely! I might need a separate one for my art supplies though. 

The gender reveal revealed that it’s a GRANDSON on the way! I didn’t care one way or the other. And though I worry about this crazy world he’s entering, I am still looking forward to meeting him and finally getting to spoil a kid instead of the often difficult job of parenting. 


Behind the scene of all these events, something has been percolating since mid-summer, but was not defined or solidified enough for me to reveal. Hopefully the rudimentary plans have us going in the right direction and will eventually come together and hopefully on time. 

D. and I began to realize that our house really isn’t big enough now that we have another person living here full time and that I really need a work space. We aren’t in a tiny house but our house is smaller than most. We had talked about adding on, but there were some problems with that. Then we started talking about selling our place and buying another one nearby with more house, but more and more often I have been spending hours and hours on the road driving family members to appointments and the distance that we are away from everything was taking a toll.  I’m looking a several more years of taxi driving. Then my daughter announced her pregnancy and I began to remember how hard it was traveling from Virginia to North Carolina with babies in tow and knew it would be an ordeal for them to get up here to visit when most of the other family was in another area. 

To make months of discussions short, we have decided to move back to the community that D., myself and Miss L. are all from and build a house on my family’s farm. Yes, evidently my gypsy soul has one more move in her (this will be move #4 in 6 years when it’s all said and done). 

When we finally circled around to the idea, we realized that it solves several problems. We can get the size house we need, I will cut half of my taxi travel time, we will be closer to our church, we will be right there to help my family with maintaining the farm, there to help my parents, MUCH closer to all our kids and grandkids and Miss L. should be able to start high school with friends she had to leave. Whew!

Now the logistics of pulling this off are pretty daunting to me right now. I hate selling a house, much less a small farm. Trying to deal with showing a house and keep it spotless in our situation honestly makes me nauseous. It was bad enough when I did it with two kids and a dog in a suburban neighborhood. I’m wondering if we could actually live in a tiny house or RV long enough to sell the place so that it would stay show worthy clean. 

We also have to clear a good bit of land on the farm for a house, barn and minimum of three acres of pasture for the horses and donkey. Folks, where we are seriously considering has a good covering of kudzu. If you know about that %#*& stuff then you know what we are facing. Let’s just say that a herd of goats is in our very near future.  We have road frontage and hopefully a usable well already there. Our other option would require a driveway that would cost almost as much as the house and drill a well. Not easy options.  

That is our big news. Our intended timeline is the summer of 2020. I am simultaneously looking forward to this and dreading it.  Expect to see pictures of me wielding a chainsaw soon! It’s a beautiful place as these pictures I took Sunday on our walk around the place will show and it’s where I played and worked my entire childhood. Many memories bubbled up during our recent walks and I look forward to showing that new grandson this special place. 


Have an awesome week!