I have been working around the Hubby’s work schedule this week. His schedule is anything but Monday – Friday, 8 – 5, so I can blame him for this week’s delay. That comment alone fits into today’s post.
I knew there was a problem when my second cup of coffee hadn’t fixed my gloomy attitude this morning. Every word the Hub’s spoke, even the stares from the dogs seemed to have negative, underlying connotations. I retreated into my office to work on a sewing project only to have my sewing machine turn on me. Yes, the clouds of gloom and doom had descended upon me overnight.
Ninety-eight percent of the time I have a positive outlook on life and will steamroller my sunny self through any fireballs life throws at me. One percent of the time I’m Mrs. Chicken Little. The remaining one percent…you don’t even want to know what that looks like. The last eruption resulted in a flying glass of chocolate milk. Luckily those only happen every half decade or so.
So, today I have observed myself dealing with a split personality. Mrs. C.L. being chided for her gloom by Ms. Sunny Cheerleader. Sunny keeps talking about all the things I have to be grateful for, what a lovely day it is, how much I have accomplished this week, yada, yada, yada.
Sunny would probably have won today if Mrs. C.L. had not had company. It seems Impatience and Insecurity slithered in sometime last night. Sunny doesn’t have enough weight on her side of the seesaw to balance out the other three combined.
What the heck brought this on? I have been making a list of possible culprits.
- Not a great night’s sleep. Or several nights of tossing and turning. CHECK
- Missing my kids. Even though I have talked to both this week, I have a limit on how long I can comfortably go without actually seeing their faces in person. CHECK
- Disappointment in myself. Goals not met in the allotted time even though I am making progress. CHECK
- Interpersonal relationships that I’m not sure of. That ugly Insecurity whispers things that I have no real evidence of, but they still worm their way into my soul. CHECK
- Not looking after myself like I should. Exercise has fallen off the radar and I have a serious lack of wine/book/manicure time. CHECK
- A lack of nature therapy. This week’s nature time has only been accompanied by a weedeater. CHECK
Is your gloom and doom list similar to mine? Have you ever taken the time to break it down and think about what has you waiting for the sky to fall? Usually I don’t. I just grump about making everyone run for cover. Why did I bother today? I’m not sure unless it’s the fact that I do have a new husband who just might ask me what the heck is wrong with me and I needed an answer. My kids and the dogs never asked…or were afraid to. Hubby has never seen that OTHER 1%, but the kids have warned him!
Wishing you a sun shiney week and I should be back next week in a better mood.
Photo by Jamie Kern